One Week Left (Just plain One Week Left, no exclamation points, but no sad faces either)

At this time in exactly a week i will be in the Dallas airport, probably crying, waiting for my plane to take me the short 3 and a half hours back home, back to Portland. (Man that's so weird to think about!!!)

Since i officially only have a week left, i think it's time to do some reflecting. By that, i mean willing reflection, because i have been doing it unwillingly for the last two weeks. Sleep has become something less and less known to me because i have so much swimming around in my head at night, i can't stop it to go to sleep!!! So many memories, so many faces, so many lessons, so much pain, and so much joy, NO WONDER i'm only getting 5 to 6 hours a night, and that's on a GOOD night. (The heat is also a MAJOR factor in this as well.)

I'm thinking a lot about both the big and the little things, but obviously the big more than the little.

I constantly think about the fact that I am forgetting things about home:

*What the voices of my friends sound like

*What it feels like to drive

*Details about my house

*The sound of my dogs barking or my chickens laying an egg in the morning

I’ve been thinking a lot about everything I’ve missed:

*Family birthdays and holidays

*Big Firsts like my Katie’s first day of college, Livy’s first water polo game, or Ari’s first high school play

*Family dinners where i have to raise my hand to get a word in edge-wise

*I’ve missed so much of the lives of my family and friends and I can’t ever get it back.....

I’ve been thinking about all the lessons I’ve learned:

*God FINALLY got it burned into my head that I am WEAK without him!!!!

*I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t do ANYTHING without God

*I’ve learned how to love people in ways I never before thought possible

*Thanks to the INCREDIBLE church I attend here, I have learned how exciting and breath-taking a TRUE relationship with Christ can be!!!

*I’ve learned so much about myself, and it’s all still so fresh in my head, I can’t even find the words to put it down on paper!!!

I’ve been thinking soooooooo much about all the INCREDIBLE people God has blessed my life here with. The family i live with, the family i spend most of my time with, and the family i have built with the AMAZING friends i have here!!!!!!!!!!!!

And i have also been thinking about the little things that i am going to miss so much. All the inside jokes that no one at home will understand, all the little accomplishments, all the little things i’m not going to have when i go home.

1. (I have to brag a little, sorry) BUT I HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE MY WHOLE TIME HERE WITHOUT ONCE PUTTING THE TOILET PAPER IN THE TOILET!!!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!
2. The laughs of my friends here that send me into a fit of hysteric laughter myself that I won’t hear again for who knows how long
3. The sounds in the streets that have become part of life, like the annoying garbage bell, and the never ending gas song
4. The feeling of waking up every morning knowing that i get to go to work in a place that God is BLESSING!!!
5. All the INCREDIBLE DELICIOUS food that has almost killed me so many times but that i am still going to miss
6. All the random, unexpected, often awkward or disturbing, conversations and moments with my friends

Also, i have been thinking about the little things here that i am NOT going to miss!!!!!:

1. Not being able to walk anywhere without someone whistling, staring, or making a vulgar remark about my hair, skin, or body.
2. MEXICAN TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. Not having a dryer
4. Not being able to put the toilet paper in the toilet!!!

and many other little things

Truth is, right now, i don’t know what to do. I don’t whether to be happy or sad, to cry because i’m heartbroken or to cry for joy, to hold on to the people here until i can’t any longer, or to think about all the people i will get to hold on to for the first time in so long.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But i do know how to go about doing whatever it is that i decide to do this last week, have God with me in everything i do!!!!!! He is the only one who can get me through this time of grief that masks joy. All my trust is in him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It All Just.....Clicked!!!!!

To start off this monumental blog, i need to make a confession. I have changed a lot here in Mexico, and frankly i was very scared and worried about coming home as this new person.

I was afraid it would be hard for my friends to get used to this new me. I was afraid that the changes i want to make in my relationships with my sisters would shock them. I was afraid that the amount of maturity i have gained here would make it difficult for me to be around people my own age. I was afraid that no one would understand exactly what i have been through in these last 8 months, and so i would be very alone.

But all those fears are gone now.

I have been praying now, for several weeks, as my time of departure draws closer and closer by the minute that God would give me peace about going home. That he would give me some sort of sign that it was alright, because up until Sunday morning, i still felt like i wasn't supposed to go home yet. I was really sad about leaving and crying out to God for some form of comfort, something to show me that it was going to be alright. I got that comfort in church on Sunday morning during the sermon.

Pastor Andres, an incredibly gifted preacher who has figured out how to almost bring me to tears in one way or another almost every week, started the sermon speaking about children finding their own feet, so to speak, in religion, rather than following those of their parents. He talked about making religion your own instead of just accepting the faith of your parents but not REALLY believing. I was prepared for this to be another one of "these kind" of sermons, i have heard them all my life, and finally started listening 3 years ago in Nepal. It was there that i made a commitment to God that my relationship with him was mine, and not just a copy of my parents' relationship with him. But then Andres took the sermon in a whole different direction that blew my mind forwards, backwards, to both sides, AND upside down!!!!!

He began by talking about Joseph and what the Bible says about his life. He used verses to show that a lot of the things that happened to Joseph when he was young, he perceived as giving the glory to himself. He thought he could do everything by himself, and God was waiting for the day when he would break and say, "I can't do this anymore, i need help!!!" That day, obviously, came when he was sold by his brother and taken to egypt. Andres used Genesis 39 to talk about how Joseph worked in Potapher's house and because GOD WAS WITH HIM, he was promoted to his high status in that household. Then Andres talked about how Joseph had to be in a different place, where he didn't feel like he had control, to figure out that God had had control over everything that had happened to him the entire time. It took getting away, and going to not the most ideal place, to get him where he needed to be spiritually.

I literally almost burst into tears, because in that moment...everything clicked.

I realized that i have been in Potapher's house. i have been in a place foreign to me, where life hasn't been easy and i have been trying to do things on my own, when God has been doing everything and paving the way for me the entire time. I am in my Potapher's house right now, and it is EXACTLY what i needed to have and where i needed to be in order to reach the level of spirituality God desires for me at this point in my life.

I have been praying that God would help me reflect and kind of see what he has been teaching me, and i saw all of it in that moment. I realized how much i have changed. How i have learned how to live with difficult people. how i have learned to love in new ways. How i have learned to anchor every aspect of my life with prayer. How i have learned that i can do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING without Christ. As i wrote in one of my first blogs, that has been the biggest battle i have had to fight here. Every time i think i have FINALLY learned that lesson, i start feeling strong again and i decide that i can do something on my own, and i get knocked down even harder than the last time. But God has finally picked me up, and i'm glad, because i can barely stand from being knocked to the earth over, and over, and over again. Scarred, dirty, beaten and bruised, but being lifted up anew, and happier than i was before all of this even began.

In that moment i cast a thanks like none i have ever said before, up to God for giving me the peace about how i have changed. I thought,"this is the sign, not as big as i was hoping, but big enough for me to recognize it and big enough for me to begin to have peace about going home." But God wasn't done with me yet!!!

Then pastor Andres started talking about transformation of our spiritual lives, how we move from one level to the next, constantly growing. He used the illustration of a baseball diamond to talk about the 4 "levels" of change we have.

(This is obviously a translated version since the entire church service is in Spanish, but you get the idea. He didn't go into a lot of detail, just the basics, so the stuff down below is a mixture of his explanations and my additions to those explanations.)

He said we start at home, where we are comfortable, and we learn to depend on things. We are taught to depend on God, but we end up depending on ourselves. We meet God, and learn about his purpose for us, and his power, and are still stupid enough to think we can do everything on our own. I was definitely here when i came to Mexico, stupid enough to think i could do everything on my own. But after getting knocked down again, and again, i learned my lesson.

Then with our "new-found faith"we move to first base, where we learn about His unfailing love for us. As we learn about it we try to change our character to love more like him. I have definitely learned so much more about myself as a person here, and it shocks me. I have found some of the most incredible friendships i have ever had in my life, and also discovered a new way to love people that i never could have learned at home.

Then, with our hearts full we proceed to second base, where we learn how to share how we have changed spiritually with the community around us. We open up to share what we have learned about Christ with those we love. I have learned here how to be a better part of a working community. How to contribute, how to back down when i'm not in my place, and how to take constructive criticism (which if you know me well, you know has been a lesson that i have needed for a LONG time!!!) I have also had the opportunity to share numerous times here about my faith and hope that it is making an impact on the people around me.


Then, after learning what we have needed to learn in this "round" we move on to third base. There we see the results of how God has changed our life in this "run." We reflect and see the new capacities he has given us through our deepened knowledge and understanding of him. I am here right now, soaking in everything God has taught me over these last 8 months. Marveling at how on earth i couldn't see it before now, how much god has done for me, how many times he has been with me here even though i thought i could do things on my own. I feel the presence of the capability to come home and be this changed person, a better person, and to begin my life a new AS this person.


And when we have learned all that in our Potapher's house, it's time for us to
Go
Back
Home.

It's time. Time for me to use everything i have learned and experienced here to go home and start living the rest of my life!!!! To live every day at home filled with love and prayer as i have lived every day here. To never forget what has happened here, and to hold every smile, every joke, every tear, every heart and every moment in my heart forever.

Pastor Andres ended with a question, and then a way to help us answer the question.

He asked us, "now, where are you going?" and then he said, "and wherever you are going, have the power of God with you."

I started crying and thought:

I'm going home, and God, and his unmatchable, unquestionable, indescribable power, is coming with me.

Amor de Amistad (Love of Friendship)

Every year, Valentines Day has been a curse in my life. A day set aside in the year to shove it in my face and then rub some dirt in it that i'm single. Normally, it's the only day of the year i wish i wasn't single, but it still hurts, and each year it hurts a little more. My parents have always done a good job of helping us look at family love on Valentines Day, but even that can't take away the sting of seeing so many people around me so happy in their relationships.

I was kind of dreading this day in Mexico, because here, my family wouldn't even be here to share their love with me. But i decided to put my best foot forward and try to make my first Valentines Day in Mexico very memorable. I had no idea then how much God was going to bless me that day!!!!!!!!!!

My morning was spent shopping and baking. February 14th, a day that i used to hate, is the birthday of my incredible best friend in Morelia, Luis, so i was baking for the party we were having for him, and 2 more of my students who also had birthdays in February.  I was also shopping for a present for Luis, ingredients, and 3 mini cakes to smash in the faces of my three students with birthdays (crazy and often rather violent Mexican tradition that i happen to love).  Both the apple pies and the brownies turned out great and i went to NOE a very happy person.  When i got there i played basketball with some friends because only 2 of the girls on the basketball team decided to show up for practice.

After that it was time for class. Everyone put the food they had bought or prepared in the middle of the table and we had a feast while we wrote little Valentines cards to each other. In the midst of all of it i was surprised at how happy i was. Then it began to dawn on me why i was so happy:

In the states, Valentines Day is centered around those who are in relationships. And if you aren't in a relationship, Valentines Day sucks. But here in Mexico it is different. The day is named Amor de Amistad, or love of friendship. This means that it is just as normal for people to give presents to their friends, as it is to give a present to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Here it's not a day that points the finger and says, "ha you're single!" It's a day that celebrates romantic love, but also the unbreakable, and incredible kind of love that exists among friends. Upon that realization i was perfectly happy to end my day and go home having my first fun Valentines Day in my memory. But i had a lot more in store!!!!!

At the end of the party we proceeded to put all 3 of the guys faces in their cakes at the same time. It worked beautifully, but turned to chaos when Luis turned around, picked up the plate of cake, and pushed it into my face. As soon as that happened, all hell broke loose. Cake flew, people screamed, jumped on chairs and tables to get away, and after a few minutes we all stopped to look at each other covered in cake and frosting, but even the ones who got hit the hardest were no match for the mess that the classroom was. We spent the next hour laughing and getting cleaned up. I had cake everywhere on my clothes and in over half of my hair, so one of my students took me home to get cleaned up. when i was ready, we went and got another friend and then went back to my students house to watch a movie.

People started coming to join us with the movie and that was completely normal, but then 3 brothers who never do stuff with us showed up at the door with guitars in hand. Over the next hour 7 of the guys, with a guitar for each of them, practiced the songs they were going to sing in a serenade for select girls from NOE and their schools. We walked off into the night to begin. It was adorable, hearing them sing and seeing the faces of the girls light up like the fourth of July when they came to the door hearing "(insert name here) your name is a poem of love, your eyes are the lights of the sky, and your lips the foam of the sea." (IT SOUNDS EVEN CUTER IN SPANISH!!!!!) After the first house i was informed that i was part of the routine, and they were all upset because now they couldn't sing to me. So we decided that i would be the last one, but i still got to go with them. So i held the roses they presented to a select few girls and heard these amazing boys sing songs of love to about 10 different girls.  My heart was overwhelmed with love for them and pride in the fact that they were making so many girls feel so special that night. When my turn came i literally almost cried.

So that was my story, and now to the point. Sorry for all the ushy, gushy stuff, but that used to be all that Valentines Day was about for me, well moreover, the lack of it in my life, but still, you get the idea.  Now Valentines Day means something ENTIRELY different thanks to a food fight, seven young men with guitars, my incredible friends here, and a long-stemmed red rose.

Valentines Day will no longer be a day of pain or sorrow for me. It will no longer be a day when i cry when i'm by myself and think, "why isn't it okay to be alone???" Now i realize that i am never alone. From now on Valentines Day is going to be a day of celebration for me. A day to honor each and every one of the incredible people that God has placed in my life. A day to give them my love, to thank them for being a piece of my life, and to continue to show them the greatest love of all, the love of Christ.



The days are winding down, and my heart is continuing to rip in to. It wants to stay here with this indescribable group of people i have shared the last seven months with, but at the same time it is ready to go home and see the people who have taught me how to love my whole life.

I take comfort in this: that the love i have for the people here is so strong that it will not let me forget my life and the things i have learned here. Here in Morelia they taught me about a different kind of love, and now it is time for me to go home and share this new love with the other people in my life.

29 days and i will be home. The love of the people here will always be with me, the love of people at home is pulling me there, and the love of Christ will get me through this time that is now before me.

My Number.........19

March 19th.....i´ve known for a few weeks now, is the day i come back to my beloved Portland.
March 19th.....i get to see my incredible family and friends again.
But....March 19th i also have to say goodbye to my beautiful Morelia.

19 has seriously been my number for this trip. I turned 19 while i was here in Mexico, i have about 19 people here that i don´t know what i would do without. 19 is about the number of times i thank God each and every day that i am here in this incredible place. 19 ius about the number of students who come to the Bible Study each week. 19 is about the total number of shirts that i have that i have been living in for the last almost 7 months.

19 has been a very good thing for me!!!!!1

But 19 is also now very sad. March 19th is the day i leave this incredible place. 19 around the number of people at home who i am starting to miss more and more every day. And 19 is also probably about the number of little things when i am home that i am going to miss each and every day about Mexico.

My emotions are alllllllllllllllllll over the place right now. I don´t knwo whether to be happy or sad, and i don´t know how to be both. But God is helping me through this whole thing. Home is close. In 1 month and 20 days i will be on a plane back to Portland, and about 10 hours after i get on that plane, i will be at home, hugging my family, frtiends, and my dogs (who i miss sooooooooooooooo much) for the first time in over 8 months.

It´s a crazy thing. I want to count down to see my family and friends at home, but at the same time i want the minutes to go by as slowly as possible while i am here!!! God is helping me though. He´s showing me how to make the best of every day, bettering myself and helping the people around me. He´s also beginning to put a subtle feeling in my heart that it is time to go home, and for the first time since i´ve been here, i am starting to feel okay with that.

Triple Threat

Many times, in both water polo and basketball, i have heard myself referred to as a triple threat. For basketball i could dribble, pass and shoot and in water polo i'm a fast swimmer, can pass, and can shoot. I have always been the WHOLE triple threat, all three parts. Now i'm learning how to share, how to be a third of the triple instead of the whole thing itself.

Until a week ago, i had been the only intern at NOE. Andrew left on December 16th and so i had the kids "to myself" for literally a month. We all missed Andrew a lot, and i missed having someone else who spoke English before Spanish, but at the same time, i kind of enjoyed being the only one.

Then last Monday, Esther Chan arrived. Sadly because of our similar class schedules we didn't get to spend a lot of time together because we both were in class at the same time. We had one conversation for about 10 minutes and that was it. I was sad because i wanted to get to know her better, but at the same time, didn't want to attach myself too quickly because my date to return to Portland is quickly approaching.

Then yesterday, Kristen Main also arrived. I went to the airport and as i saw her reuniting with her loved ones i had severe flashbacks to when that was me a few months ago. In that moment it felt like i was coming all over again, like this dream of a life i have been living had really BEEN a dream, and that i hadn't just lived the best 5 months of my life.

I was thinking about it last night after i got home. I am no longer the only intern, now there's two more girls here with me. I was honestly a little upset. I didn't want to have to share these incredible kids that i have come to know and love during my trips to NOE. But God showed me tonight that i was being selfish, and that i needed a serious slap in the face.

Tonight was the first time all 3 of us girls had been in the same room, we were with about 6 NOE kids though so we didn't get to talk a lot. Most of the conversation was filled with laughing about various jokes and all getting to know each other better.  Tonight i realized that we make the perfect triple threat!!!!! We have Kristen, the oldest of the 3 of us. Definitely the quietest but really sweet and always has a smile on her face. Then Esther, and her crazy, spunky personality that reminds us all about how great it is to be young. And then me, (wow i'm the baby even though i'm the tallest by at least 6 inches) with my slightly harder personality, serious, but am always ready for a good time.

Looking around the circle of faces tonight, i realized that the three of us really balance each other out. Our personalities are all different and we all have something different and unique to bring to NOE and the mission here.  I realized in that moment that i should never be upset that new people come to NOE. I should be thankful that God is opening the eyes of people all over the place about the INCREDIBLE work that is happening here at NOE International. That i'm not "sharing" these kids i know and love so much, because they aren't mine to share!!! Each one of these kids is a miracle from God that has been wonderfully placed in my life.  They have touched my life in ways i will never be able to explain, and i should rejoice that they do that for other people as well.

So i am here, making a commitment, to embrace this triple threat i am now a part of. To d everything i can to work as a team with these other amazing women and the staff at NOE to continue the AMAZING work that goes on here every day.

Watch out Mexico, the Triple Threat is on a mission to do God's work in NOE and NOTHING can stop us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reflection Time: Looking back on Senior Year

*Just for the record, this reflection is going to start in September of 2010 and go until today :)

I thought i was queen of the world. Going into senior year looking at a great athletic year, a great academic year, and a promising future deciding which 4 year college to go to that had water polo. Looking back i laugh at myself, as i'm sure God was laughing, because i had plans. I was telling God what i wanted and saying it was his "will." Boy did i get punished for that one.

The turmoil started the first week of school, when we were going for water polo captains. I thought i would be better than the other senior and i knew it would be a great addition to my stats for college polo. After circumstances that were out of my control, i didn't get it. I was prepared to accept it, but instead was tortured and cut at my entire season!!! I saw the turmoil of my sophomore season multiplied and it tore me apart. Polo went from being my favorite sport, to something that was ripping apart my dignity, my hope, my future, and my strength. Emotionally the season was tearing at me, and also physically, my shoulder was worse than ever! Every game was a fight against the pain, and i was scared i wasn't going to be able to finish the season. I remember at one point crying out to God, pleading with him not to take water polo away from me!!! After that prayer i realized that God was telling me that maybe my whole future shouldn't be oriented around something that could be taken away from me with one serious blow to my shoulder.

*Without knowing it "god" number one was filtered out of my life.

i used the winter to refocus and recover. Saw a doctor about my shoulder and was signed up to go see a specialist. I began to focus more on school now that sports were out of the way. I was renewing friendships, making new friends, and losing friends that i didn't need.  I looked alright on the outside, but on the inside i was a scared mess.  Every plan i had seemed to be falling apart. I had lost polo, was possibly going to lose track because of my shoulder, and was running low on time to find a school. Every one i looked at didn't seem right. After a Christian College Conference for all the schools in the Northwest, i felt utterly defeated.  On the drive home i remember my mom turning to me and out of the clear blue asking if i wanted to go to Mt. Hood Community College for a year to get more of my pre-reqs done before heading off to a big school? I said yes, but that i also wanted to go to Mexico.

My beautiful Mexico. I hadn't realized until that moment that an internship at NOE had been sitting in the back of my head all along!!! And now that i wanted to study teaching, it made more sense than ever. There was only one problem....i had just turned 18, and the age for interns was 20 and up. But i applied anyway, and prayed to God that i would get accepted. I felt like it was what i needed to do.

My answer came in December a few days after my brother from Mexico came to spend the holidays with us. At a swim meet in the middle of december, i got the text message that would change my life. The text from the intern coordinator in Portland that i was going to Mexico!!!!! I was happier than words could express!!!!!

The next few months flew by and dragged on at the same time (if that is possible).  The months flew because everyone was counting. The epidemic of senioritis was spreading quickly, hitting my classmates and friends, and eventually me. But i wasn't just counting down to graduation, i was counting down to the day the Dream Team would arrive, and then 30 days later the even bigger day when i would fly back to Morelia with them. But the months also dragged on because of my intense physical therapy, my entire track season i don't think i completed more than 5 full practices with my team. I had to change my workouts and my routines to work with my physical therapy, and my ever weakening shoulder.  My hope rested entirely on going to state. It was my time, and i had the ability, but i didn't have faith that my shoulder, or God for that matter, could take me there. As state got closer and closer i got better and better, but it was never good enough. I sometimes would throw to the point of exhaustion begging my body to push a  little bit more to hit the mark i needed. it was all i wanted. My coach is a wonderful Christian man and i don't know how i would have gotten through the season without him.  He took me by the horns, broke me down, and turned me into the kind of athlete that i had always wanted to be. He helped keep me grounded in the fact that whether i won or lost, it was all part of God's plan, and all i could do is give 100%. Well the big day came, and of course, we were blessed with rain. in the freezing cold i did everything i could to do the best i could, but metal and rain don't mix. I was able to keep control and get decent throws that got me into the finals, but i was still almost 10 feet short of what i needed. By the time it was my last throw i was almost in tears. I was giving it everything i safely could, and i was still not making it. For my last throw i screamed and used every inch of power in my body...and still through 6 feet short of the necessary mark.

I was absolutely devastated. But the new was that there was a chance i could wild card in because some of the girls above me in another conference had done worse than me. I praised God because i still had a chance. I thought, "God took polo captain away from me, he wouldn't take this away too!!!" It took about a week to get the news, and every day of that week felt like an eternity. I still remember the look on my coaches face as he walked into my classroom and told my teacher he needed to talk to me. I only had to look at him to know. Outside with him and my best friend holding on to me, he told me i hadn't gotten it. Some other people who had gone in lower than me had thrown really well and knocked me out of my spot.  I felt like my strength had finally run out. I was done trying.

*Without knowing, "god" number 2 was beginning to filter out of my life.

The next few weeks flew by! I had my last day of school, i graduated, and before i knew it i was training to go to work for the summer! It was so weird to think that my entire educational life was summed up in 5 seconds with 3 handshakes and a little piece of paper. but hey, i was done!!! My focus was now on work and waiting for my Dream Team kids to arrive.

They got here and helped me have one of the best summers of my life. I enjoyed every day and loved getting closer and closer to them. Then my world was shaken again, just when i thought everything was going perfect, i found myself in the hospital not able to breathe. Laying on a bed in the emergency room i was scared that i was dying. I thought about everyone i wouldn't be able to say goodbye to, everything i still wanted to do, and everything i had done. My strength was gone, my body had failed me once again, and i was leaning to trust less in it and more in God every second.  After 4 hours i got out of the hospital and was sent home. From that moment on i have tried to treasure every moment as if it were my last, because it could very well be.

Before i knew it we were at the airport and a new chapter of my life was about to begin. Goodbyes were bittersweet, i wanted to leave and get to Mexico to say my hellos, but i also didn't want to leave the warmth of the friends and family i was leaving. but i did, i got on the plane and was on my way. I thought that was it, but God had one more test in store! I threw up the medicine i use to help me fly because i was so upset, and then when i got on the plane, the shock bracelet i use to fly broke as well. I started crying and pleaded with God. I said that i was entirely in his hands now, and then realized that was what he had wanted all along. I still got sick on the flight, but smiled as it happened because i knew God was holding on to me.  The second flight was even worse, an air-bus, hot, with severe turbulance, but God was good and helped me not only to fly without being sick, but to be able to fill out all my paperwork and barely to feel how much the plane was rocking. I went through hell and back that day but the smiling faces and open arms waiting for me in the lobby of the airport made it allllll worth it :)

And now i am in Mexico, living life as i have never lived it before. I am experiencing types of challenges that i never knew existed, and learning things about the world and about myself that i never even imagined possible. I have grown more as a person in these last few months than in almost the equivalent of my entire life. The woman that will come back to Portland is nothing like the girl that left.  I have found my passion in teaching and even enjoy the challenge of trying to learn a new language! But more than anything here, my heart and soul are touched every day by the presence of God i can feel now more  than ever before in my life. He shows me his unending love, devotion, grace, and mercy every day here in Morelia. And he has blessed me with many angels that continue to show me what the true meaning of love is, even when i forget.

God took my "gods" out of my life this year. The first, he took my focus off of my sports and put it more on him. He taught me that my world doesn't need to revolve around whether i win or lose a game or a competition, but that i can still love my sports, and i do. And the second "god" he took out of my life was my strength. I have always been the strong one, but god showed me that compared to his strength, mine is like an ant fighting the ocean, and so HIS strength is the one i need to rely on!!!!!


So here's to this last year. The year that changed a girl into a woman. The hardest year i have had yet, but also BY FAR the most fulfilling!!!!!]

Praise God for another year!!!!

Happy New Year EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!