Here I Am Once Again

Here i am once again
i pour out my heart for i know that you hear
every cry, you are listening
no matter what state my heart is in
you are faithful to answer
with words that are true and a hope that is real
as i feel your touch
you bring a freedom to all that's within
in the safety of this place

I'M LONGING TO POUR OUT MY HEART
TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOU
POUR OUT MY HEART
TO SAY THAT I NEED YOU
POUR OUT MY HEART
TO SAY THAT I'M THANKFUL
POUR OUT MY HEART
TO SAY THAT YOU'RE WONDERFUL!!!

This has always been one of my all-time favorite worship songs, but until yesterday, i didn't really understand what it meant.

All my life i have desired to be able to do what this song says. To pour out my heart to Jesus, telling him i love him, that i need him, that i'm thankful, and that he is wonderful. Yesterday and today, i learned how to do that, and even though it is in the midst of terrible circumstances, i can be happy because i have fulfilled what this song says.

Yesterday the students and staff at NOE were informed that the mother of Claudia, one of the girls who just came to Portland this last summer as a part of Dream Team 15, was in the hospital. The doctors didn't know what was wrong, and she was doing really bad. That night at Bible study we had a time of worship and prayer. prayer for Claudia and her family and for Luis (Brian) Overcast as he flies back to Morelia. Tears streamed down my face as i saw all these incredible kids pouring their hearts out to Christ. In that moment i felt a conviction that i had never before experienced, and the prayers i uttered were unlike any that have ever come out of my mouth before!!!

Claudia is a very new believer. She began reading her Bible three months ago while she was in Portland, and since then has been attending church and the Bible study at NOE.  Her faith is new but strong, so i pray that something as big as this will not shake it, but only make it stronger, no matter what the outcome is.

This morning during my class Juan came in and asked us to all stop and pray for Claudia and her mom because she was not doing well. Juan then informed me that he would be going to the hospital later that afternoon, and when i asked if i could accompany him, he said he would call me when he had an answer.

When i got the call around 2:30, instead of hearing confirmation that we were going to the hospital, i got the news that her mom was worse and that we had to wait. it was so hard, i was with my brothers and the entire mood changed for the rest of the afternoon. The call came at 3:45 that Clau wanted a group of us to come to the hospital to be with her. We said we would meet at NOE at 4:30 and then go at 5:00. When we got to NOE you could see the different dynamic with those of us who knew what was going on. We all went into a room and spent time crying and praying together, pouring our hearts out to God begging him to help Claudia and begging him for the healing and salvation of her mother. The power in that room, was like nothing i have ever felt in my entire life.

Now i TRULY know what it feels like to come pleading, to God, pouring out your heart to him. Watching the other kids crying and praying was so powerful.

We got to the hospital and Clau greeted us. We spent about 20 minutes just hugging her as we all cried and showing her that we cared. After that we got in a circle around her and embracing her, once again, lifted her and her mom up to our Lord in prayer. Right now the doctors have determined that her mom has a type of blood clot in her brain and she could die if it moves, so it is still a very scary time.


I finally however, understand that part of the song. Here i am, once again...it's saying that prayer and TRULY pouring out your heart to God cannot be a one time thing. It has to be constant, and even constant to the point where you want to say, "well, here i am AGAIN" but THAT is what matters to God!!! That we trust him and that we NEVER STOP believing that he can do something to change our circumstances!!!!!

Even though I have learned this lesson through difficult circumstances, i am still so thankful that i have, in fact, learned it.

Please continue to pray for Claudia, her mom, and her family, as well as these other things:

*This week is the busiest week of the year at NOE, so please pray that the stress will not cause all of us teachers to be harsh with each other, but that we will have patience and that everything will go smoothly.
*Luis (Brian) returns from Portland tomorrow. Please pray he has a safe journey.
*Ryan and Brent Hernandez arrive on Thursday to help us out. Please pray that they get here safely and that their time here will really encourage everyone.
*Friday is Amigo Night, a fundraiser for all the alumni of NOE, please pray that it will raise a lot of money and go really smoothly.
*Saturday is the Kermesse, a huge fundraiser for NOE, please pray that everything works out and that it raises a LOT of money for this incredible ministry!!!
*Then Sunday a group of us head out to a hot springs for a few days as a cool-down, sorry for the irony, after this hectic week. Please pray that we travel safely and that we have a great time.

Thank you so much for your prayers everyone!!!