Learning the Ropes the Hard Way

Learning new things is never easy and here in Morelia that is still true.  I have officially been here almost 6 weeks and i am still learning new things every day about Mexican culture.  Every day things shock or surprise me, i do something wrong, or try something different. And all of these have been quickly adding up to my realization about how far away from home i really am.

Last week i was given a verbal list from my family here about all the things i was doing wrong.  All things that in the states are completely appropriate and part of my every day life, but here, they are causing tension in the home i am staying in. I had to quickly make a decision about how much i am going to adapt to this culture. With some words of wisdom from several people i came to this conclusion:

     I am going to try to adapt to this CULTURE and the new things in it as much as possible.  This will involve changing a lot of habits i have had for a long time.  It is going to take a long time, because i have had most of these habits my entire life, but hopefully i will be able to adjust. HOWEVER, the ONLY reason i am changing who I AM is if God wants me to. HE will show me how he wants me to grow and develop as a person here, and he is the only person i am going to change who i am for.  People here may want me to act a certain way, but if that's not who i am, then i'm not going to do it. 

I will give you an example. One of the things that i am doing "wrong" here is keeping the door to my bedroom closed. My family feels like it is cutting me off from them, like i am living in my own little world instead of in theirs. I have 2 responses to this. 1) The family is rarely here, so my door IS open most of the time, they just never see it. and 2) the only time they are home, they are in their rooms doing homework (the mom is in school too) or on the computer outside my room doing homework. I keep my door closed then because i am constantly listening to music and don't want it to distract them.

Little misunderstandings like this are tearing me apart.  I have been a people pleaser my entire life.  I constantly strive my hardest to keep the people around me happy and to make sure they are proud of me.  Here that has changed dramatically. The kids at NOE know me, because they see me working, having fun, and doing all kinds of things with them. But my family only sees me in my down time, when i'm not out with the kids. And they hold me to a standard that i can't always achieve because i don't know what is right and wrong here.  God is showing me that my family's standards matter, and i should try to achieve them, but that HIS standards are what TRULY matter!!!

He is showing me that my work here is at NOE, with those kids, and impacting their lives. That i can't let the things happening at my house effect my work here. I am here to do HIS work for these incredible kids, to give them my heart and everything else i have for HIS glory, and that is what i need to be focusing on.

Things here are so different. Some of it i like, and some of it i hate, but all of it is my life right now, and i have to embrace it as best as i can.

Please be praying for me in these next few weeks that i can continue to adjust to the different way of life here and that the people i am around will be patient and realize that this is hard for me.